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| Audrey Sparrow looking for love at 'Lindas Love Shack' (upcoming project) |
However, today (between various leisurely trips to coffee shops with friends who shall remain nameless but caffeine fuelled) I stumbled across a well known bookshop which I regularly frequent on days that I am feeling both equally rich and intelligent (days that are few and far between I assure you). The bookshop shall not be named.
Ok, it was Waterstones.
Anyway, I happened perchance to stumble across two highly inspiring books regarding said topic of single life and dating and one of which called 'Crap Dates' by Rhodri Marsden. I literally laughed out loud when reading it on the park and ride bus home (much to the concern of the old lady sat next to me) as it contains dozens of real life dating anecdotes condensed down into simple tweets (140 characters max) and published for the world to enjoy. Bizarre, funny and also quite sad in places, it got me thinking about my own dating experiences and more specifically why I decided to embark on this project...
Essentially my point being that dating is crap.
I dont know (yet) if it has always been this crap or if it has been made crap by the modern use of online dating sites, speed dating and the likes of Cilla Black encouraging singletons to cheese up and tune in to blind dates and bad hairdos. Eitherway, it is now and that is what my project is about. So I have decided to condense my most memorable dates into similar tweet format in the hope it will jog a few memories for me and give me the next little push in this exploration. Each 140 characters is a separate date to the last...
A man with an awful smelling leather jacket took me to a greasy
spoon café exclaiming ‘I’ll take you here because it’s cheap’. Romantic.
After three months of dating I realised he had no idea of my full name, what I was studying or where I worked. I called it off that evening.
He insisted we go shopping for clothes for me. Picked a great
top that I wouldn’t have dreamed of trying. He came out a year later.
Great first date at a restaurant before he walked me home. Yet
later he text asking ‘If things picked up a bit, could we have sex?’
He asked me to wear a bikini to our first date. In November.
I backed out to later discover he’d planned to take me to a Bob Marley tribute.
If you have any to add, please do. In fact, I challenge you.
Well Red Lady x
He left me a note in the bookshop where I worked asking me out. Went & it was sadly not the hot guy I'd thought. He looked a bit like Golem.
ReplyDeleteWe met dancing & he invited me roller-blading(!) & I said I had a rehearsal. So he rang the theatre & left a msg 4 'a tall brunette with a very expressive face' which got put on the notice board! Went 4 a coffee in the end & he told me he had 4 kids & his wife had left him for emotionally abusing her.
ReplyDelete(Couldn't fit it in 140 characters. But think you should try and collect 140 stories, so you'll have 140 characters!!)
Thank you Kate. These are simply wonderful and made me laugh. Alarmingly though, they fail to shock me. I seem to be becoming immune to bad dating stories...in fact, what would be more shocking would be a good one, but where is the fun in that!? If you know anyone who would like to add so I can get to that wonderful 140 target I would be INCREDIBLY GRATEFUL!!!
Delete